My Self Deception

     The men in the community group that I belong to at church are reading a book titled "I Told Me So" by Gregg A. Ten Elshof ( http://www.amazon.com/Gregg-A.-Ten-Elshof/e/B0025KY6GW ).  The book is about self deception.  Obviously, we like to think that we are not deceived in any way.  But as Mr. Ten Elshof ably reveals, self deception is not only possible, but likely.  I recommend the book, and especially recommend that you, the reader of this blog, would ask your self this question: "Is there any area of my life, that I am currently walking in self deception?" 
      I am especially sensitive to the reality of self deception.   I have written before on this blog site about my  own self deception while being involved in the Word of Faith/Prosperity movement.  I spent a total of 24 years attending and supporting (time, talent, treasure) a church in this movement.  During the course of the years that I was a member, there were times that I questioned my beliefs, and what I was being taught.  However, no matter how serious my concerns became, I never left.
      Self deception played an active role in why I never left.  I wanted to believe that what I was a part of was right.  I was invested in every way possible in this local church.  The leadership of the church were people I admired, and wanted to be like.  They were smart.  It seemed they knew so much about the Bible and that they were so close to God.  They were so confident.  They appeared successful in all aspects of their lives.  So, I pressed in.  I wanted to be one of them.  I served the church in every way I could.  I cleaned, volunteered in the nursery, worked for a period of time in the children's ministry, became a part of men's ministry, and eventually it's leader, served as an usher, and even prayed with people at the end of the services as part of the altar ministry for several years. 
      Yes, as I mentioned above there were times I struggled with certain beliefs.  There was even a point where I thought about leaving the church for a whole year.  And yet, I stayed.  I told myself regularly that the church would move back closer to orthodoxy.  Sometimes, it would.  But, ultimately, the church was solidly Word of Faith/Prosperity. 
     The sad truth is that for a good portion of those years, I listened regularly to Christian radio during the week.  I would sometimes listen to the Christian music station, but I spent most of my time listening to the Christian teaching station in Louisville.  I listened for years to solid, orthodox teachers.  R.C. Sproul, Alistair Begg, Chuck Swindoll, Adrian Rogers, and many other well known radio ministers were on this station.  Now, as I look back after more than four years of recanting of the WOF/Prosperity movement, I wonder why did I stay in it for so long?  Answer:  Self deception.  I could blame the devil, or the leaders at the church that I so admired, but that would be wrong.  I really, really wanted to believe the doctrines of the WOF/Properity movement.  It offered power.  Spiritual power.  It offered a world view where it was possible to really change not only my world, but the world of those around me.  That is the point about deception.  Deception is not embraced by the unwilling, but by the willing.  The lust and desire of the soul for lies is not forced upon it.  The belief, that I, because of the teaching I was receiving would be "a more powerful Christian", was so very alluring.  The lie was so much easier than the truth.  WOF/Prosperity teachings warp, bend, and totally obfuscate the real work that a new believer should be doing to mature as a Christian.  The WOF/Prosperity movement offered very enticing shortcuts to status and authority as a believer and I wanted it.
     Of course, God did eventually overwhelm my lust for the lies of the WOF/Prosperity movement.
     So I ask you again to ask this question of yourself: "Is there any area of my life, that I am currently walking in self deception?" Are you participating in a lie to your self.  Is there any area of your life where you would rather embrace the lie, because of its promise, than walk in the truth.  For me, the worst self deception was spiritual.  What is yours?   Yes, the truth is the harder road, but it is the right road.